October 2, 1974

I have spent several hours transcribing this blessing from my tape recorder. I have pondered what it contains and am overwhelmed with gratitude for what it contains and the circumstances under which it was given. I feel that this blessing is meant for Norma as much as for me because we truly share our priesthood and we desire together to be “one” for this family and with our Savior and Father in Heaven who are “one”. My gratitude for the association of my Bishop is immeasurable. I love him more than a brother because in his immense humility and true leadership capabilities as outlined in D&C 121, he basks in the love, guidance, and glory of our Father in Heaven. Every action that I witness is one that brings glory to his Father and the Savior. And so it is that I can receive such a blessing under his hands and know that it is coming from God. The blessing could have been no greater had it come from the President of the Church himself. I say this with the deepest respect and humility because I perceive by the Spirit that this is the order of things in the Kingdom of God.

            We need to have assurance as imperfect mortal beings upon this earth that we are “measuring up” to some measure. I rejoice that my life at this time of my mortal and eternal existence is of worth to my dear Father in Heaven because my love for Him and for the Savior has reached such proportions that were it rejected my plea would be for extinction of my soul because of the devastating, crushing, destructive effect it would have upon my eternal soul and my identity as a son.

June 29, 1974 - Call to the Bishopric

Kirk James has brought his girlfriend, Holly Haskell, home for the summer. Their intent is to live with the family and see if they are suited for one another in marriage. They are both 27 years of age. Kirk is going to summer school at the U. of Washington. This means that he has exposed himself to Professors he doesn’t know. Holly is working to finish her Master’s degree in Spanish literature. She really should be close to her Prof at BYU.

            Kirk has told me that Holly can’t believe the relationship that we have. We are very open with one another and communicate our feelings openly. Perhaps we have found certain treasures of family life that others have not but I am so grateful for the trust I feel in our children and the manner in which it is reciprocated.

            I perceive by the Spirit, that after experiencing much tribulation, the blessings have come – D&C 58:3; 112:13 – perhaps we have even undergone an Abrahamic trial to some degree. It is evident that we are enjoying a relationship of love, respect, and joy that truly is a reflection of what eternal life will be like.

            As Alma’s prayers were answered regarding the conversion of his errant son, Alma (Mosiah 27:14), I know that God has answered our prayer for each individual in the family. May it continue to be so!! I long for us to be pure in heart and a true Zion people that as a family we will be recognized as the Lord’s people. How grateful I am for the charity and love and respect I feel for each member of this family. How grateful I am to my Father in Heaven for his guidance, His chastisement, His concern, His love for me personally that has brought all this about.

Call to the Bishopric – On Thursday evening, June 27th, Norma and I were called to the Stake President’s office concerning our call to the Bishopric. This is the first time in our church experience that we have been called together. An indication of things to come??

            What I write now I want to be a testimony that this call came from my Father in heaven and not from man. Bishop Fillery (sp?) was the intermediary but he waited for a long time to receive spiritual confirmation. I have always felt that Bishop Fillery is the epitome of Church leadership because he directs with humility and spirituality that is true and brings peace and confidence to those who work in his presence.

            I could feel the sincerity of the Stake Presidency and their concern in enlisting the Lord’s help for the 8th ward. How fortunate we are to have such men to care for us and direct the affairs of the Lord’s church in these last days. How reassuring to know that this train of authority goes all the way to the Lord Jesus Christ, Who’s church this is.

            Truly the Lord has sent me to school!! – as an Elder’s Quorom Pres, that I could learn to care about others and expand my life out of my self-centered medical life, as a Seventies President that I could come to understand and develop the missionary Spirit which in turn was enhanced by being called to a Stake Mission, as a Seminary teacher, that I could learn to care about the choice youth that are in our midst, that I could come to care for them as I care for my own children, a High Priest Group Leader, that I could become converted to geneaology work, but above all the privilege of coming to know the blessings of being a patriarch in my choice family. Because of some success in these areas I now wax strong in confidence in the presence of my Father in Heaven because He is concerned about my growth – may it ever be so. I pray humbly in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

April 12, 1974

This past week we were able to attend conference in SLC – Norma, John, Rick and I were able to fly to SLC together. We were able to get the family together on Sunday – 17 of us – the Dones, grandma Pixton and Kirk, Jane, Tom and us were together. On the way back to SEA we stopped in Boise and found that Norma’s mother was doing well. We also had a visit with my father and Florence. So I feel good at present that we have a good understanding of our families and a good feeling exists between us.

            As always, the conference was excellent. The prophets talked by the Spirit and related forcibly to the issues of today. It’s interesting this week that there has been extremely bad weather in the east and western section of the USA. There have been cyclones back east that have caused a loss of 300 lives and several billion dollars in damage. Again, this is fulfillment of prophecy in that we have been warned that there would be thunderings, earthquakes, etc which will serve as a warning to the people to repent. Literally, it is the voice of the Lord calling the people to repentance.

            Yesterday, I flew to Portland to visit with Grant Fagg and Glen Haws. Both of these men are unique Saints and choice priesthood holders. Br. Fagg was our previous Stak Pres. He is a choice person who is trying to truly put aside the things of this world. Consequently, this is why I went to visit with him. We spent 3.5 hours in intimate spiritual conversation and he has helped me to better crystallize my own thoughts, goals, and will help the future direction of my life. He was in a position to become one of the top 3 people in a highly successful pharmaceutical company but withdrew because he desired to be closer to his family. Now he has made another step by accepting a full-time assignment in the LDS Institute system. He is primarily motivated by his desire to become a true Son of God. This I desire with all my heart also. Br. Haws who also gave up a teaching position in the secular world as a Professor, now teaches in the Institute and is a true healer of the souls of men. He is also a Bishop and a father of 8 children. He told me of a man he knows in Provo who started with a small store, He then built it into a chain of stores and he became a millionaire – but!! – he has lost all of his seven children from the church. This is such an often repeated story its unbelievable that we can’t learn from the experience of others.

            Today, a beautiful Saturday morning, as I baby-sit my grandson Eric my heart soars with gratitude for the unbelievable blessings that have been showered upon this family. I cannot of myself generate the love and genuine charity I feel, I pray that I might live as a true patriarch to my family, that through me and the Priesthood I hold might flow the revelations that will guide us to exaltation. I envision that I might one day stand with Norma in the presence of God and rejoice with Him that we have successfully brought our choice family back into His presence with His guidance.

            I love the Savior and my Father in Heaven more each day. I desire to know them – truly know and understand the Atonement. As I envision the Savior on the cross my body is racked with emotion because He cared so much about me and my brethren & sisters upon this earth that He died for us under such degraded circumstances. And so, as I sat in the presence of Pres. Fagg, we intimately exchanged spiritual thoughts and felt an atmosphere charged with spiritual emotion because our “bond” is common and centers in the personal relationship we have with the Savior. Our brotherhood has been bought by experience, decisions, trials and the knowledge of both joy and despair. I am so grateful that there are men that have so lived and love so freely that they can give of themselves so fully. And so I approach this Easter with a prayer that my understanding of the Atonement may be deepened.

March 2, 1974

This Saturday morning I have arisen, searched the scriptures and meditated. All week I have been depressed because one of the men in the clinic is leaving – apparently because he feels a need to make more money. I just can’t understand this because we have been blessed with such a monetary abundance. For many of us, I guess there is never enough because of greed and selfishness. I have been emotionally shaken because I thought I was building through my relationships with the other doctors a bastion of loyalty, respect and pride in our ability to serve those who come to us for medical help. Certainly, it is foolishness to put our trust in “the arm of the flesh” and I anticipate a gradual crumbling of the temporal world in which I personally live and work unless the doctors I work with maintain some of the objective ideals I have worked for. I have constantly tried to create an atmosphere in which each doctor can experience a democratic atmosphere in which to develop his talents and skills and that he not be stifled by an authoritarian influence of one person who exercises leadership through coercion, etc. (D&C 121). I am sure that the time is fast coming when the true converted Saints will cry constantly to the Lord to hurry the Second Coming. For we live in the midst of unbelievable evil (D&C 82:6). All types of shortages are developing. In the State of Washington the gas lines are getting longer, tempers are short and I can imagine how it will be when we develop real food shortages. Then we will really see the uprising of mean against men, state against state, etc.

            Last night I spent time in an intimate interview with one of the brethren in my High Priest Group. He is a choice individual with a marvelous family. With the treacherous inflationary rise in food prices he finds himself in a financial bind that is strangling. He has a very good job, is a PhD in Animal Husbandry and he has 2 boys on missions. He is looking for another job to supplement his income. His plight will become more common – I resolve that we can, will and must live the Gospel more closely, for “Every man seeking the interest of his neighbor” (D&C 82:19). We do as the Lord requires of us and become a true Zion people.

            To those of my family who read these writings, I want to convey the understanding that we are now passing through very difficult times. We enjoy technological advances our forebearers never dreamed possible but our hardships are affluence, greed, selfishness, pleasure-seeking and unbelievable evil that bombard us from all quarters. Our only protection is to have and develop a strong family oriented in the Gospel of Jesus Christ with the scriptures and the oracle of the present-day prophet to guide us.

            Truthfully, it would be wonderful to receive an honorable release from this mortal life now but I resolve to endure to the end. The promise we have to return to the presence of our loved ones in their great family, my family, and our Father in Heaven make me want to go on and do all that I can to build for those that are to come. I rejoice in having my eyes opened to see that these Spirits are more choice, spiritual, and intelligent than my generation. Oh! how their presence is needed now and in the near future. May they know that I love God with all my being – that He is a living and loving God who places a gentle hand on my should to guide, and on my mind to understand, and on my heart to love and feel a peace in this environment so influenced by the spirit of Lucifer. May the know the respect and love I feel for our forebearers, many of whom I have never met but am coming to know spiritually through geneaology, because they lived their lives honorably and distinguished the name I now bear. May they know that I know we are protected by the Lord, that as long as we do what He asks He is bound and we have a promise (D&C 82:10).

            Tomorrow, John will be advanced to the office of a Priest. How grateful I am that the children are progressing in their lives. What transpires tomorrow in this ordination far transcends any temporal problems we now face.

Feb 10, 1974

Eric and Chris have moved into their new home. This has been a rough period for them. Their home is just right and the appraiser underrates that it’s an unusually fine home. I’m glad to have them close. Eric, Chris, Norma, and I are attending various classes at the Institute. We are learning the Gospel together and it is obviously strengthening our family. Sure we are blessed with the Spirit of Elijah in our family at this time in our mortal lives – a time when we need it greatly to withstand the tribulations of a dehumanizing, pressurized world.

            This week Shirli and Leland’s baby became ill with the “croup” and Leland and I administered to him. He recovered promptly. Again, how grateful I am for the Priesthood in our home and family.

            Last night we attended the “Know Your Religion” series lecture and hear Bro. Mettes – he teaches at BYU in the Dramatic Arts Dept. He was outstanding!! His subject was “When You are Converted – Strengthen Your Brethren” for a two hour talk. My eyes were constantly filled with tears. He was a convert to the church from the Catholic faith and was a Bishop twice before he became a convert – 13 years after becoming a member of the church. I thank God for honest men in the church who are willing to reveal themselves unashamedly that the rest of us might be strengthened.

            As I reflect, I know the precise moment I became converted, truly convered to the church. It was when we were vacationing in McCall and I was reading the life of Wilford Woodruff and lying in the bed in our cabin (in 1963 – 3 years after being an Elders Quorum Pres). Since then my negativism continues to disappear. I long to search for and know the truth and as I learn new truths I am anxious to incorporate them in my life. This is the way it was with Geneology. In May, 1973, I became aware of my desperate state regarding my forebearers. I can’t believe the work that has been done and how much I have been able to accomplish in just 9 months. Rather, how much the Lord has helped me in putting together our records and being of some influence in the ward and our family.

            And so, some 12-13 years after becoming active in the church again, I became converted. Why couldn’t that have happened much earlier that I would not have wasted so much time? I will do anything and go to any length to keep this from happening to anyone in my family and I pray constantly for the true conversion for each one of my wonderful family members. I am enclosing herein a precious letter from Evelyn Schwiermann – whom I taught in Seminary, who is now married and living in Honolulu. Norma and I saw them on our recent trip to Hawaii.

            How grateful I am our lives mean something to someone besides ourselves by “caring” and learning to love – truly love others. I understand why the Prophet Joseph Smith said that his “life was worth nothing to himself if it was not worth anything to his friends”.

[Pg. 52 is an enclosed letter from Evelyn Schwiermann wherein she expresses gratitude for Kirk and Norma’s visit and for taking she and her husband out to dinner. They express that they were “really lifted mentally and spiritually” and expressed gratitude for their conversation as they were able to “talk about personal feelings” with Kirk and Norma and that they didn’t have close friends in HI that they felt they could share those conversations with.]