"I have decided to keep a journal because I believe that my life is important not only to myself but also to others. Perhaps I can stimulate others in my family to do likewise so that the family may be strengthened through deeper communication. Only that material which keynote the central themes of my life and its experiences will be recorded. Certainly it will not always be serious because I enjoy a sense of humor and do not take myself serious enough to think that everything that happens to me is earth-shattering. In fact, I enjoy a good laugh with others when my antics and habits are in review. It would be more than I could ever hope for, if my wonderful and choice family – those now living and those yet to embrace life here upon this earth – would read my thoughts and come to understand me as I desire to understand them. Then a love would develop in all our hearts for our God; for one another; for life; and for the quest for eternal life together. And so whenever a record is being made I pray that the Spirit might be with me that it will be felt by those who read these words in the spirit of truth. Only the decisions that pertain to our relationships with our Father in Heaven and the Savior are important. All other decisions will be of little consequence."

Saturday, February 2, 1974

Feb 2, 1974



This has been a difficult week. The transition of going back to work after spending a wonderful week of reading, meditation, and closeness with Norma is difficult. Not to be melodramatic, but dealing with the every day problems of work and trying to be “in the world yet not of it” can be traumatic. In our present day world this is particularly so because we know there are so many evil scheming men in high places and many of our problems stem from viscous, greedy, corrupt, evil men. We are told we are in the depths of an energy and fuel crisis. Available data about stored fuel does not bear this out and yet the large oil interests made an enormous profit last year. President Nixon presents such an unbelievable “credibility gap” that we cannot believe what he says.
We read in the paper yesterday that the previous Stake President of the Seattle East Stake is involved in what appears to be outright fraud in his business. I am sure that these things do not occur as a result of these men deliberately planning fraudulent, corrupt acts but rather that the subtle influence of evil gradually shapes us if we are not constantly vigilant. One of the most precious things we can possess is the surety that we are undeviatingly honest and trustworthy.
This week I administered a chymopapain injection into a protruded disc for a woman who reacted violently with an anaphylacted reaction. She almost died!!! It if had not been for well-trained personnel in the recovery room she surely would have died. There is nothing that we do in medicine but what we expose the patient to adverse reaction. Fortunately, this does not happen but rarely. When such a reaction occurs or complications arise, it is such a shock!! If a doctor lived with this type of thing too much or too often, it would be almost impossible to keep up with the emotional assault of caring for sick people. As it is, maybe this is the reason that the average life expectancy of a physician is 51 (I am now 53) and the suicide rate for a doctor is 4 times as great as it is for others.

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