"I have decided to keep a journal because I believe that my life is important not only to myself but also to others. Perhaps I can stimulate others in my family to do likewise so that the family may be strengthened through deeper communication. Only that material which keynote the central themes of my life and its experiences will be recorded. Certainly it will not always be serious because I enjoy a sense of humor and do not take myself serious enough to think that everything that happens to me is earth-shattering. In fact, I enjoy a good laugh with others when my antics and habits are in review. It would be more than I could ever hope for, if my wonderful and choice family – those now living and those yet to embrace life here upon this earth – would read my thoughts and come to understand me as I desire to understand them. Then a love would develop in all our hearts for our God; for one another; for life; and for the quest for eternal life together. And so whenever a record is being made I pray that the Spirit might be with me that it will be felt by those who read these words in the spirit of truth. Only the decisions that pertain to our relationships with our Father in Heaven and the Savior are important. All other decisions will be of little consequence."

Thursday, October 17, 1985

October 17, 1985- transcribed by Mandi Anderson

Talk given in 7th ward on Oct. 17th 1985

We should beware of these who minimize paradox, and particularly these who register blindness.  For we need to develop tools to struggle with paradox, and we need knowledgeable and wise friends who care enough about us to be a sounding board as we yearn to unravel the paradox of our own lives.  The reward? – repentance, change, and maturity. & self-revelation.

On the other hand we should pay little attention to those who make mountains out of molehills.  We must recognize that we do not have all the answers and must be ready for change by necessity.

Let me give you a paradox to ponder “Now empty your cup, that it may be filled” I say it within the context that we must rid ourselves of bias, prejudice, & tradition (D&C 93: 38-39) before we can effect change.

Isn’t it true that LDS women are now no longer suspect as they were a decade ago.  The paradox of economic necessity and personal fulfillment versus the traditional family values are now being juggled as never before.  

We should be equally as comfortable in the university and the temple.  Those who have been baptized put their eternal souls at risk if they pursue secular knowledge only.  Trying to unravel a troublesome paradox with an unbalanced rational or sophist mentality at the expense of the spiritual will turn wisdom into foolishness (2 Ne. 9:28).  Lucifer knows that the best way to turn men away from the plan of salvation is to appeal to their vanity.  Why?  Because they like to be successful and smart.  The Book of Mormon is replete with example of trouble-maker church members who became ambitious, intellectual, liberal, sophists – Sherem, Nehor, & Korihor.

We must look to a source of knowledge greater than ours.  We must be humble.  If not, in the sincerity of thoughts or ideas, one may even leave the Church simply to prove a point.  This is why in D&C 76 the Lord cautions us to serve in truth & righteousness, not sincerity.  Lucifer, by example, is one of the most sincere and dedicated persons we have ever encountered.

Furthermore, we cannot consider a paradox resolved once we think we have solved it.

Solution when we are 25 may not work at 35.  Those that seemed wise at 35 won’t work at 45.  At 55 all things come up for review.  For me, 60, the autumn of my life, was filled with excruciating paradoxes of the soul.

We must listen to God, our Father, and His divine message to us – the blessing of the patriarchal blessings which is a constant, steadfast & invariable, this is indeed an instrument to help resolve paradoxes at all ages during our earth sojourn with an unimpaired view into eternity.

Now, in closing, a most profound paradox that is germane to the spiritually attuned life – by T.S. Eliot
We shall not cease from our exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time

Insert: article titled “Benson to lead Mormon Church” copied on backside of Sacrament Meeting program 

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