June 1986

Insert: picture of Kirk J. Anderson / caption:

Labor Day, 1986

How wonderful to be free!  To be spontaneous! To do what is desired on the spur of the moment.  This date, I asked Norma if she would like to drive down the Oregon Coast with me on a date.  She accepted, and we saw the beauty of God’s creations.  We stayed at Salishan, Oregon.

Insert: picture of teddy bear dressed as surgeon / caption: This is a record of a weakness of mine.  I love stuffed animals!  Probably a longing for that glorious day in the millennium when we will be able to converse and socialize with the animals.

June 24, 1986

Today was my last day at the temple as a sealer.  Five wonderful years!!  Norma & I are now on a leave of absence to prepare for our full time mission.  There are a number of brethren with whom I have felt a special bond – Pres. Perry, Pres. Shuntz, Pres. Kay & Conger, Bro. Hannebey and Hauck, Bro. Tame, and Pres. Waddell.  I shall miss the impact of their spirits deeply.  I feel like I’m really giving up these precious associations to go on our mission and that perhaps the Lord will look upon it as a sacrifice

Today Pres. Snow & Shuntz assigned me two difficult sealings that others did not want to touch.  I was most grateful for them because in both instances I was able to handle the problems with sensitivity and the atmosphere of love and charity was marvelous.  God seems to have treated me with favor by allowing me to pour forth understanding through love.  I left the temple today in sadness, but with profound gratitude that I have been able to touch the lives of others who mourn, and who have deep wounds.

June 22, 1986
(Note! – This is a letter composed to send to all our children that we might communicate better, and create deeper family ties)

I have just returned home from Stake Conference where one of our Stake Presidency spoke of the dire necessity to “communicate” with our families.  This, of course, was based on the meaning of Elijah’s mission, and the prophecy of Malachi that the hearts of the fathers must be turned to the children, and vice versa, lest the earth be smitten with a curse.  In past, we are now seeing, in our day, partial fulfillment of this, wherein the major percentage of murders, child abuse, incest, etc. is arising from family contention and the waxing cold of family devotion and love.  Thus, I am writing to you with a plea that we continue to open our hearts to one another to foster family unity and love.

As Pres. Toolson pointed out, as fathers, we really don’t really know our children, and vice versa.  I’m going to attempt to bridge that gap by letting you know a lot more about me than you already know.  My only motivation for doing so is because I love you and respect each of you for who you are.  I can never thank you enough for how you have enriched my life.

I speak to you from the patriarchal prerogative.  To be a natural patriarch is to be a “master father” – one who creates life.  To bring an innocent child into the world through an unmanned birth is just the beginning.  “Creating life” really come through rearing the child in love and teaching him correct (God’s) principles so that he matures into a self-reliant, self starting, righteous son of God.  Believe me, I didn’t understand these things when I was young.  However, because of the unique circumstances in my life that have also influences yours, and the opportunity that the Lord has provided for me to be a “father” to thousands of the “ spiritually orphaned”, I have come to understand the scope of being a father.

I made the decision to be a doctor when I was around 13 or 14.  I lived with the fear of that decision for over 10 years until I graduated from medical school.  I just couldn’t see how in the world I could even cut the mustard.  A miracle!  I did.  Within the past 2 years the spirit has testified to me that I was influenced to make that decision to be prepared mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually for the enormous responsibilities that would befall me.  In 1942 Norma and I were married.

Prior to that I was reared by parents that I honored and respected.  But that was an era when “children were to be seen and not heard”.  I can not even recall being told by my parents that they loved me.  They taught me by example.  However, Dad was so busy as a physician that I hardly saw him at home during the week, and he slept most of Sunday to catch up for the next week.  These things are said not in criticism, but only to acknowledge things as they were.

I have always believed what the Lord tells us – namely, that from weaknesses come great strengths.  My starvation for love, as an adolescent, fostered a sensitivity to the nature of others that has allowed me to truly experience the true love of God.  I also believed that I would make and adequate living as a doctor, but was totally unprepared for the economics of medicine that was to come.

As I look back, I see where the Lord had His hand constantly in our affairs and desired us to come to Seattle when the LDS church atmosphere was such that we would truly be taught the gospel of Jesus Christ in proper perspective.  

Was it by chance that I would be asked to come to Chicago to train as an orthopaedic surgeon?  Was it by chance that I would meet Dr. Sofield, one of the world leaders and consultants to the Surgeon General?  Was it by chance, then, that I was sent to a major Army med. Hosp to ultimately become the chief of the orthopaedic section?  No!  All of this was happening before I was 30.  I some ways I was just like Chuck Yaeger.  I was in the right place at the right time.  Then, toward the latter part of our Army tenure, while home on leave, I was asked to see a woman with a very painful hip.  For the life of me I don’t know why the doctors in Boise refused to treat her correctly.  Moreover, I was annoyed to have to play a part in her problem.  I’m grateful I did.  She needed surgery.  I advised her that I would arrange for her to see an orthopaedist at her home in Texas near where I was stationed, but, also, gave her names of doctors to see in Salt Lake & Portland & Seattle.  She elected to come to Seattle for her surgery.  This prompted an offer for us to return to Seattle.  Prior to that Norma & I had offers to return to Chicago or to San Francisco.  Could this ladies choice to come to Seattle have been a flip of the coin?  I honestly don’t believe so.

Kirk James was almost 2 years of age when we came, and Eric would be born a year later.  It was really the first time in my life that my norm. living wage of 30 - $50.00 / month jumped to $400.00 / month.

I must be up-front and say that to me medicine came first.  In spite of the face that my two children were so very important to me, I had been taught that medicine is a jeoulous (sp?) mistress, and must come first, and living by the code was a matter of survival in a very competitive, harsh, and demanding field.

In the next 10 years several critical things happened.  Norma was called to teach in primary.  This was the beginning of a serious, steadfast, pursuit of knowledge, spirituality, and love in the church.  It wasn’t easy.  There was much repenting, and change was slow and painful at times.

During this period, my medical practice flourished, and I embarked on a research program as Director of Research in Orthopaedic at the U of W medical school.  Carol was born, and I resolved to spend more time with my children than my father had spent with me.  The problem was that it was still not enough, and I still didn’t know how to make it quality time.  Each summer we looked forward to seeing Warren and Wilda and their children.  I had previously learned that vacations were to be enjoyed in activity, which can serve as the foundation for more serious talk.

In 1961 an exciting thing occurred in my medical life.  I was awarded the Kappa Delta award for the most outstanding orthopedic research.  This created a treadmill type recognition that almost escalated out of control.  I was approached by several medical schools to be the Professor and Chairman of the Orthopedic Dept. (U. of Penn., Northwester, U. of Kentucky).  I made a trip to Lexington, Kentucky to make a decision once and for all whether we would leave Seattle.  I made sincere requests that I didn’t think they would possibly meet.  On the very day that Dr. Ben Eiseman called me to tell me that they would meet all my demands, and wanted me to come, I had to tell him that I couldn’t because we had just learned that my wife, Norma, had a brain tumor.  Again, I have asked myself the question so many times: “Was this but a coincidence that was to keep us in Seattle?”

Norma’s tumor was associated with such a high mortality rate thtat we had to go elsewhere for surgery.  During those 3 lonely weeks the only voice I heard was her brother, Warren.  I realized then how alone we are at times.  I had never had a close relationship with my brother and sister, which I have since changed.

Now came a six year period of the most devastating trial.  I still wonder how we survived.

There were 5 deaths within 18 months.  I had a close doctor friend who amazingly had the same thing happen.  After the 5^th death in his family, he came home from the funeral in Michigan and died of a heart attack within 2 weeks.  Coupled with this were the sorrows that grieving parents feel for their –maturing young ones.

I don’t really know what effect Warren and Wildas deaths, as well as, that of your Grandmother Anderson and Grandfather Farmer had on each of you individually, because we’ve never really opened our hearts to talk about it.  But, for me, it had a devastating effect.  I can never give an adequate accounting of how profound my hurt was, how deep my loss was for the theses 4 most important people in my life.  This cruel blow had brought me so low that I had no place to look, but up – to my Father in heaven.  How grateful I am that there was no bitterness – only humility that allowed me to see the true values in life.

I would plead with you that each of us will resolve to convey our true feelings to our mates, our children, and to one another.

During this period, and early on when Jane, Tom, John, & Rick came to live with us, I found myself at another important crossroad.  I had to decide whether I was going to let Norma become the major parent, or whether I was going to enter into a true patriarchal role.  There was some negativism on the part of my medical partners.  In fact, one partner pleaded with me not to do it, because it would kill me – so he thought.  I was now 46 years of age and in the so-called prime of life.  The escalating medical treadmill had placed me in several executive responsibilities with invitations to several societies that eventuate in a call or election to the Presidency.  I decided that I had to reverse myself and give it up.  Why?  Because the gospel of Jesus Christ had become all important to me, and because you were so important to me that I wanted to be the best father I could be.

Norma and I have earnestly tried to bring the families together as one.  We feel that this has come to pass and that you feel the value of the family organization as we do.

We are immensely proud of each of you.  We have seen divine influence in your marriages where in your mates complement each other.  What a tribute it is to you to desire to bring forth so many beautiful, choice spirits into the world.  

I, personally, feel that each of you are the most unique, choice people upon the earth

Do I have any regrets?  I certainly do!  I find myself wanting in so many are as I know that I can improve my relationship, my line of communication, and love for each of you will you help me try?  

We need one another and the stability we can give each other.  One reason I have rehearsed all this is because you have some of the same trials awaiting you.  Its not just a matter of surviving, but one of profiting from the human condition.

The ultimate reward will be to strengthen one another unto salvation that we may be together in the presence of God.  Believe me, when I have my personal interview with the Savior it will be a true accounting – not an accounting of the family in a general way, but an accounting for each of you as individuals.  

Sincerely,

Dad – Uncle Kirk

June 20, 1986

Today I made my yearly sojourn to the zoo with Courtney and Scott Biddle.  I made it into a generalized occasion. I taped their voices for them to listen to when they become adults.  We started out by watching Scott collect pollywogs out of their ditch at home.  Then, off to the zoo we went.

I enjoy being with them so much.  They do not argue a cry because they are not allowed to do something unreasonable.  They are just marvelous, delightful companions, and I enjoy being taken into their world of viewpoint with confidence, and they enjoy being admitted into mine as we teach one another.

June 29, 1986

Today, Norma and I had our interview for a full-time mission with our Stake Pres. – Pr. James Nelson.  It is such a privilege to be in his company.  His humble, sweet spirit admits the spirit into the interview room with ease and promptness.

He made us feel so worthwhile – that our lives have been of some little worth to others.  I don’t know of a time in my life when I have falt the spirit so intensely and feel such profound, constant, intense gratitude for my blessings.

Insert: Fathers Day Card / Caption: Dear Dad, You’re the best!  We love you – Carol, Duncan, and Courtney Scott and Brooks

Insert: homemade card / Caption: (written with crayan) “Dad”  “Courtney” and drawing inside of kite and design

Insert: Birthday Card / Caption: Uncle Kirk  Love John, Linda, Annalise & Alicia

Insert: Birthday Card / Caption: Dear Dad,  Love Carol and Duncan Courtney Scott Brooks

Insert: Birthday Card / Caption: Hope you have a happy birthday.  We both love you very much and appreciate all you do.  Love Laurie & Rick

Insert: Birthday Card / Caption: June 18, 1986  Dear Uncle Kirk:  We sure do love you  Wayne & Lesli

(additional note in card)

Dear Uncle Kirk & Aunt Norma:

Just a little note to wish you a happy birthday & to tell you both how much we love & appreciate you.  How is the family – I bet Carol’s kids are getting huge as well as Eric’s & Kirk’s.

We are all well, just taking one day at a time.  Mom just got back from visiting Leland in Utah he is well & happy but now thinking about law school – I guess he just can’t help himself.

Wayne & I are leaving today to ski for a week – look what you guys started yuk!

So when are you going on your mission?  Let us know when & if you’re heading this way we’d love to see you.  We think about you often, and feel so blessed that we’re apart of this family.

Say hello to everyone.

Much Love 

Leslie